The heart of your child

I actually started writing this blog about another topic, but God has led me in a different direction on this beautiful, November morning.

As the hustle and bustle of 4 small, but significant blessings in my life begin their daily tasks it is these very children and their hearts that weigh heavy on my own heart.

Some of you who read this will have small children or even older children, but no matter their age they have not reached the season in their life where they are what society would call "a wayward child." Up until recently I would have been in this group. I took for granted the simplicity of my life with my children. Training was going well. They were all following the path I had so tirelessly laid out for them. Life was good!

Now some of you can recall a time when life was like that but that's not so much how this current season in your life is going. Now this group is where I can currently relate. Our oldest daughter has begun to have some struggles in her life. Struggles that, of course, as a mother I would not have wished for her to carry these burdens. We all wish for a life of blessing and not a life of strife for our children, however, that is hardly realistic.

And while I stand in the midst of this season of testing in my life and the life of my husband and our daughter, I am so thankful! For it took my daughter's rebellion and the counsel of my husband and a dear sister in Christ for me to see my failings as a mother. I had excelled at training my children to be obedient, Christ-following, mannered young men and women, but what I had neglected to tend were the hearts of my children, or namely my oldest.

For she has always been something other than a mommy's girl. I wanted to snuggle and rock her as a baby; she wanted to get down on the ground and rough-house. I wanted to play dolls with her and was told, "No, that's okay, Mommy. I like playing by myself." So I would be satisfied that I did my duty and made the offer and that was enough. After all, I had offered to play with her. I had offered to read to her. She wasn't interested. But what I failed to see until now is that I as a mother have to meet my children where they are whether that is on the couch under a blanket with a book, in the game room buried in train tracks and Matchbox cars, up in a tree communing with nature, etc. I have to meet my children where they are and form a relationship with them on THEIR terms, not mine. And with each child that takes on a different form.

My 5 yr old can draw a picture and if I simply say, "I love it!" he's satisfied that Mommy likes it and then he happily goes on his way. My 2 yr old, however, cannot be so easily satisfied. Her artwork has to be carefully examined and eye contact has to be made for her to accept the praises she's offered.

Each child's heart requires a new and unique approach, but it is our responsibility and frankly, it is absolutely essential that we reach the hearts of our children. So often parents will discipline their children and leave it at that. They get the desired behavior they want, but they fail to see the fire brewing in their child's heart. And they won't until the teenage years or beyond. That's when the discipline stops and the heart comes out. For when our children reach this age we can no longer take them over our knee or send them to their rooms. Their obedience has to come from respect. Respect for their parents. That respect is born from a relationship. And that relationship has to have been built over time, a long time. It is not something you can begin when your children are teenagers.

So I implore us all to not only train our children in the ways of the Lord, but to also lead their hearts in obedience to Him. If we gave as much attention to our children's hearts as we do their bottoms then we would not lose so many of our young people to the ways of the world when they become of the age of heavy temptation from the world.